I have the “forgot clothes in public” dream so often, I don’t get embarrassed. “Oh crap, again? Alright guys, let’s power through this. “
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Never tell me the sky’s the limit when looking up cramps my neck.
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New game: Super Garlic Bros. It follows the adventures of Mario and Luigi’s breath. #nintendo #mariobros #videogames
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Pirates: Thieves + ocean = cool.
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I want to do some hardcore Mr Ed fan fiction. 50 Shades of Hay.
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Research is underrated. I’d back that up, but…
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“You got a lotta nerves coming back here.” - slogan for a paranoia treatment center #iwish
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You know what I think? Nah, me neither.
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Andy and I will be on TalkShow TalkShow tonight! t.co/rVllyb63e…
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Twitter’s feature that notifies you when someone else favorites another person’s tweet is terrible. “Look, someone’s popular! It’s not you!”
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Who is the farest of of them all? No one’s talking about that. t.co/dPrThZ2bH…
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7 Horrors of Ferguson Policing (Made Less Awful With Farts) | t.co/34ycJLyBb… t.co/7dk94Qq48…
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I just climbed 6 flights of stairs. I shouldn’t feel like this much death.
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“We all shit in the same place now. Someone will have to get rid of it. Not it!” - Everyone except the first sanitation worker #quotes
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Little jack Horner, lived on the corner, smoking his curds and whey… that’s how it goes, right?
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I got shivers just looking at the pictures. From beauty and terror t.co/eGDjLk4wC…
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Chinese Movie Theaters Displaying Audience Texts On Screen | The Onion - America’s Finest News Source t.co/yJCTIkliB…
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I just bought the 5th Edition D&D Player’s Handbook. I’m very excited. t.co/SpPg9bJSZ…
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This is actually pretty funny t.co/jk55sENfr…
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RT @TKav: @DavidBlue t.co/3o03hayIl…
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Well said, and scary. t.co/dApIIJEsL…
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Hey Missouri, here’s another idea: sanity. t.co/o71sTVynz… #Ferguson
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Adam Carolla settles with patent troll t.co/0wSuU8VXv…
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