Puppies Take Manhattan #DogMovies

Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>

I want better conspiracy theories. Here’s one: The Illuminati hired aliens to fake the moon landing, enraging Big Foot to shoot JFK. #yes

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Several weeks ago, I bought Super #Castlevania from @Solari2600. I still haven’t beat the first level. #OldGamesAreHard #IAmNotGreatAtGames

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A wolf in sheep’s clothing is not that bad. A wolf in clown clothing, now that’s the stuff of nightmares.

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The Perverts Guide to Ideology is a really good philosophical documentary. It’s on #netflix

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I don’t really use Pinterest, or apply beauty tips from the internet, but this article is hilarious. t.co/wEImvQ873… #cracked

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The New York Times has come out in support if the federal legalization of marajuana. t.co/uNsp224sS…

Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>

#nintendo has first party titles in every genre I can think of.

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“Great party people like big pig blankets.” - A line from a children’s book that should exist. #iwish

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You’re so ugly, that after you were born, God stopped existing. #sickburns #existentialburns

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If you like scary movies, than you’ll LOVE looking in the mirror. #sickburns

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“To be profound is to fancifully state the obvious. “ - Arthur C. Hubbins III #quotes

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You know, none of the technology promised in those History Channel documentaries from fifteen years ago has come true. #nohoverbelt

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RT @GeorgeTakei: From a fan in NYC. Proofreading matters! t.co/wR4T7hZPp…

Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>

If your eyes are a window to the soul, is your nose the chimney? Should I cram presents up there, is what I’m asking?

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Reading is transformative; without it, you couldn’t be smart while sitting on your ass. #truefacts

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6 Mind-Blowing Discoveries We Just Made About Famous Art | t.co/DWU02gEgG… t.co/z31ldQUwS…

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Weird Al’s new album is really good t.co/e0h1l8r7U… #weirdal

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This site is amazing t.co/oIZtkfQlJ… #starwars

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I love meta humor. #hashtag

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RT @alyankovic: It’s official. MANDATORY FUN enters the Billboard album chart this week at #1. Wow. WOW.

Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>

I never saw I Know What You Did Last Summer, so I can only imagine it’s a movie about swimming and picnics. #movies

Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>

I was wondering why #GirlTalk hasn’t been sued…Here’s the answer! t.co/VOkASpOuh… I wish he would get sued so copyright wouldn’t suck

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Have you ever been lying naked in a field and think, “I’ve been robbed,”?

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I’ve lived, loved, and lpvd, if we’re moving left to right on the keyboard. #keyboardjokes

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