Robin Hood is a furry convention #DepressingDisney

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The Song of the South #DepressingDisney

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If there’s a movie about it, there’s another ten movies about it. #moviefacts

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Can you be happy, and not know it? #raffi

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A commercial just said the skin was an organ. Really? I actually don’t know. #science #dontknow

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If you wish upon Mars instead of a star, can only violent things come true? #mythology #astronomy

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“To be profound is to fancifully state the obvious” - J.G. Pitzmantle III #quotes

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There are 100 trillion connections in the human brain, which is why I think we love callbacks. t.co/rNsxplKD3… #Improv #science

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“I’ve got you buying eggs. $50 grand!” #normalblackmail

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I want to start filming people doing normal things, and see if I can still blackmail them. #normalblackmail

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Peeling the sunburn off your aunt #BadSummerJobs

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“Last one there is a rotten egg!” - A witch #quotes

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Security is important, @TDBank_US. We’d like it if you supported two factor auth. t.co/rby6WYeTn… #SupportTwoFactorAuth

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“You have to make an agreement with me. See the last two episodes of Game of Thrones.” - Guy who just wasted an agreement. #quotes

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“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself! That, and Nazis.” - why FDR isn’t quoted fully. #correctinghistory

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Who framed roger rabbit? Watch the movie and find out! #adsfromtwentyyearsago

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If fortune can smile, can it also frown? Was Brazil’s 7 - 1 loss fate wiggling it’s hands in its ears and sticking out its tongue? #worldcup

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If luck is a lady, is fate a government employee?

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Galphaxor the mutilator is rising in your third house. Fortune smiles upon you. #astrologywishes

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I want to see the astrology charts when aliens appear in the sky. #astrologywishes

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I’ve been playing Shadowrun: Returns. Instead of ‘Hell yeah’, they say, ‘Whiz yeah’, as if in the future, hell is replaced by peeing.

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Stay on top of my improv team Call Your Mom’s shows by joining the mailing list! t.co/Oxg8MljBY… #improv #ucb

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At the museum of the moving image waiting to see 2001: A Space Odyssey in 70mm!

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At the museum of the moving image waiting to see 2001 in 70mm!

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Eating only raw food is like saying you’re better than fire.

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