“Scrotum plumbing Barbara Walters worker” t.co/q9xssJXWh… #frenchknight
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
twitter category
Guys, I made an insult generator. For those times you can’t think of the right crass thing, there’s t.co/YyhLf2lRg… #frenchknight
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
I’m in a commercial! Thanks @Scott Gabriel! t.co/YRBBOvwKe…
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
Maintain true net neutrality to protect the freedom of information in the United States. t.co/eIpMssSPr…
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
Security is important, @mint. We’d like it if you supported two factor auth. t.co/yFw6ATgHF… #SupportTwoFactorAuth
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
I had no idea custom tags were this cool. t.co/vboYkpwtb…
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
RT @GeorgeTakei: This messaging needs some sharpening. #GetTheLeadOut t.co/pUBbaqgBE…
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
I want to get the word “barph” to take off as slang, just like “phat” in the 90s. So, “That is sooo #barph !” describes something great.
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
Chocolate topped bacon roses are a thing. #thedailymeal t.co/GWqHdwUmK…
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
RT @spotastic: I’m selling my Flappy Bird for $50 bucks. (I’m not talking about the game).
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
RT @spotastic: What ISN’T a napkin?
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
RT @GeorgeTakei: Oh Myyy. t.co/3fA3unTC4…
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
RT @eringriffith: really though, i can’t stop clicking on this. t.co/ZP00bLp9n…
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
I want a banana funeral; I figure, I’m already dead, why not cover the place in fruit?
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
Sleep is like a mature friend; the more you see her, the less she wants to get in your eyes.
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
RT @GeorgeTakei: It starts young. t.co/S1gCCE0G7…
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
I started drinking lots of tea, because everyone in new york needs a habit.
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
This is pretty awesome. t.co/wRhFMzbAj…
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
It’s Wormules! All the strength of Hercules, none of the limbs! Watch him try to be useful.
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
My improv team Call Your Mom is doing a show hosted by Former Business Partners! Wednesday October 23! t.co/xoX2unf8u…
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
Lack Of Sexual Tension With Coworker Almost Unbearable t.co/D4QWm00XY…
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
So many people on The Onion’s American Voices are systems analysts #theonion
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
RT @GeorgeTakei: There’s a map for that. t.co/ANHqJCRT0…
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
RT @zachdonovan: Hey, you know who’s great? @elledott @n_o_moore @chrisjohndeluca @elizabethhintze are great.
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>
The Norwegian prison where inmates are treated like people t.co/rHa3Xl717…
Original post: <twitter.com/chrisjohn…>