The Chris DeLuca Newsletter


I've beaten higher in Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (around 10% complete). I forgot to mention that the ROM I'm playing is the Japanese version, which means I have to look up what items do by their icon. On the plus side, it does help me ignore the story. šŸ•¹ļø

2024-07-01


TIL MLP. Instead of MVP, the Minimum Viable Product, it's the Minimum Lovable Product. I like that.

2024-07-01


I'm using a new photo for phone wallpaper. I took this photo, and I like the filter Apple suggested a lot. I have no memory of which beach this was, or why I was there.

An iphone lock screen with a purple and organze tinted background wallpaper of a rocky beach.

2024-07-01


NYC Pride Photos 2024

I watched the New York City pride parade yesterday, and got a few nice shots of celebration and joy. A great day. šŸ³ļøā€šŸŒˆšŸ³ļøā€āš§ļø

People on a parade float are dressed in colorful costumes. One person on the left is wearing a flowing outfit with a headscarf, while another person in the middle is dressed in green with a large hat adorned with flowers and holding a watermelon prop. A third person on the right is wearing a pink and white dress and has their arms raised in celebration. The float has a sign that reads ā€œTaiwan Pride in NYC.ā€ The background shows a multi-story building with many windows.

A trans woman with long blond pony tail, dramatic eye liner, and bright yellow combat boots. She wears a fish net bikini, with breasts exposed, nipples covered with rainbow paint. She walks confidently. A person in the foreground holds up a flag with horizontal stripes of pink, purple, and blue, representing the bisexual pride flag. The scene is part of a parade, with other participants and colorful decorations visible in the background. Tall buildings surround the parade area, and the sky is partly cloudy. The atmosphere is festive and celebratory. A brown drag queen wears pink and blue fairy wings and corset, with matching hair and big black boots. She walks with purpose.

A bald brown man in traditional Somoan tattoos and garb waves with a big smile amidst other similarly dressed celebrants.

A colorful float is part of a parade, adorned with people waving rainbow flags and holding signs. The float is decorated with vibrant illustrations and a banner reading ā€œNYC Pride 2024.ā€ The participants appear joyful, celebrating and interacting with the crowd. Tall buildings and lush green trees are visible in the background, under a cloudy sky. The scene captures the lively and inclusive spirit of the event.

A decorated bus with rainbow colors and the words ā€˜The Unforgottenā€™ printed on it is featured in the image. The bus has purple, green, and gold garlands around the edges, and two individuals with obscured faces are standing in front of it. One individual is wearing a black top with a purple skirt and holding up a peace sign, while the other is wearing a black outfit with white polka dots and waving. The background shows high-rise buildings under an overcast sky. The scene appears festive, likely from a parade or celebration, related to LGBTQ+ pride.

A muscular white man wearing only a thong, a white cowboy hat, and roller skates rolls with a forlorn expression, eyes down. He carries a large peace pride flag. A group of individuals with obscured faces is standing behind a metal barrier at an outdoor event, possibly a parade. They are wearing colorful attire, including rainbow-colored accessories such as wigs, tutus, and flags. One individual in the center wears a yellow top and pink shorts while holding up their hands mid-cheer. A sign with the text ā€˜Home Grande!ā€™ is visible in the lower left corner, accompanied by rainbow motifs suggesting the event is LGBTQ+ related.

A person in an elaborate rainbow colored dress and makeup waves a flag reading 'drag is not a crime'

A white drag queen in a fancy silver dress with big silver necklaces, standing tall and holding a pride flag. A long narrow photo of a blond man wearing sunglasses gesturing joyfully while sitting on top of a car. Bubbles envelope him and soar up to the sky, filling the frame. The frame extends up and up, showing trees, then buildings in the background, and finally a steel sky, all covered with bubbles. A black trans woman waving joyfully with mouth open and posing coyly. An older white man with a long white beard and a red baseball cap and white gloves and cargo shorts and a pride and joy t-shirt waves, smiling.

A black and white image of a pride float, many celebrating bodies. The new york city skyline stretches high above the revelers against a pure white sky. A spiral of confetti arcs up from the back of the float, framed in high contrast against the white sky. A Black trans lives matter flag is visible.

An white woman with primpted black hair wears a bright rainbow form fitting dress. She sits on the back of a car, arms raised mouth open in celebration. A woman wearing a rainbow flower hat hands out merch to eager onlookers. Two people in elaborate blue costumes and white masks do stilt walk dances.

A colorful float with an arc of rainbow colored balloons amidst LGBTQ+ mutli-ethnic celebrants.

A pride float with palm fronds and pyramids. A man with sunglasses and a pink shirt arms raised yelling with joy is prominantly featured.

A long wide shot of LGBTQ+ parade marching band.

A group of LGBTQ+ dancers in mid performance. They radiate love and joy.

šŸŒˆšŸŒˆšŸŒˆ

2024-07-01


Thereā€™s always dudes air boxing at my local auto body shop.

2024-07-01


Don't you love it when The Onion's headlines are perennially appropriate?

Supreme Court Overturns 'Right v. Wrong'. šŸ‡ŗšŸ‡ø

2024-07-02


Grass Ass

Hello and welcome to this weekā€™s column, the topic of which is grass. No, I donā€™t mean marijuana, but regular garden-variety grass (I still donā€™t mean marijuana). Itā€™s the stuff we sit on, run on, and swim on (Iā€™m looking at you land shark). It gives your dad something to care about besides football. Itā€™s the perfect place to spread blankets for a picnic with the whole family, or spread legs for a picnic preferably without the whole family (this preference varies depending upon which side of the mason Dixon line youā€™re on). It provides vast open spaces of soft lush greenery, which we are told to keep off of by little yellow signs. It gives us a place to ponder the meaning of golf: top Freudian psychologists agree that it is the result of pent-up masochistic sexual tension, which manifests itself in extreme phallic aggression towards the testicles. It is pure unadulterated life rooted to the soil, selflessly preventing erosion. If humanity made first contact with life from another planet, doubtless our first question would be,

ā€œDo you have grass where you come from?ā€

After a bit of somatic confusion about marijuana they would doubtlessly reply,

ā€œYes we do, and we love it!ā€

You could say that grass binds the galaxy together.

Why all the fuss over grass? Why bother talking about it if it will always be with us, right? Wrong. A worldwide crisis in grass in happening even as I write these words, a crisis so large that it can no longer be ignored. I am of course referring to the fact that much of the worldā€™s grass is turning brown.

ā€œOh silly Stupid Guy,ā€ you may say. ā€œGrass always turns brown.ā€

Wrong again. Usually in Hempstead at this time of year the grass has been so frostbitten that it couldnā€™t even think about turning brown. Or perhaps Iā€™m thinking of Siberia at any time of year. Regardless, big changes are happening to grass, which means they are happening to you too. The root reason (pun definitely intended) of these changes is global warming, the hit movie phenomena that has both viewers and critics raving (mad). True Fact: Roger Ebert now gives thumbs ups from the cockpit of a hypersonic rocket ship. He has it pointed at what he hopes is a distant grassy planet, but itā€™s probably just his wife.

Global warming is a serious issue as it is literally toasting our grass. If global warming continues at its current rate, we could well lose grass entirely, the universe's most precious commodity. If our grass dies, what will hold our world together? Not only will countless millions of acres of land wash into the sea, but also your dad, stripped of his front lawn (no grass) and his football (no grass) may just have break down and start caring about your mom.

Now Iā€™m not an investigative journalist or an environmental scientist, but I can only assume that Hofstra is directly responsible for global warming. I donā€™t see any solar panels on our acres of roof space, and certainly no grass planting program, just another Unispan that no one uses. From this shocking evidence alone I believe a prosecutor could easily convict Hofstraā€™s administration of heat crimes.

So what can you as a concerned citizen and student do in the face of such a disaster? Well for starters you could sprinkle grass seeds in President Rabinowitzā€™s underwear and stop paying tuition, and then go from there. Let us band together as one campus, one nation, one people, and save our grass. If we donā€™t do it, who will? Aliens? Yeah right, I hear they have a huge land shark problem.


I remember my roommates really loving this one, so I put it up as a good one in my memory, but man is this all over the place. Social commentary from a nineteen year old? Check. Cringy sex jokes? Check. Really long sentences? My God check. And who couldn't get excited for the thirty year old at the time Land Shark reference? Indelible.

2024-07-04


I gave a short presentation on CSS Subgrid last night at the Astoria Tech Meetup. Lots of good conversations afterwards. Thanks to everyone who came out!

2024-07-05


I feel like my previous post didnā€™t properly capture the grandeur of my Lock Screen.

A purple tinted rocky beach iOS Lock Screen.

2024-07-06


You are not creative and then create something, you become creative by working on something, creativity is a byproduct of work.

robinrendle.com/notes/cre...

2024-07-07


What if, thereā€™s more you can learn and ways you can grow, and thereā€™s nothing wrong with you.

2024-07-07


I've been watching The Tour De France with my roommates in the morning. No other update, just wanted to let people know I'm exorcise adjacent. šŸš“šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø

2024-07-07


Media Diet: Mayā€“June 2024

I went another two months without writing a media diet! These posts are way too important to ignore for that long, so let's get into the crap I took in.

But before that, look at this šŸ‘‡

Table of Contents

Why, its an expandable table of contents to jump sections! My innovations for you, gentle reader, knows no bounds.

Music

Rocksā€”Aerosmith

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Yes it’s on the nose, but there’s no other way to say it: this album boulders. Raw, heavy, boogie riffs, and more energy than I thought possible, especially given growing up with their slick ballad 90s era. I had gone back and listened to the first three Aerosmith albums years ago after finding them in my ex’s music collection, especially liking Toys in the Attic, but they never totally grabbed me. This album though. I got turned on to it from the Cobain 50 Podcast, which examines Kurt Cobain’s 50 favorite albums list. I didn’t realize how influential this record was, and man, I just can’t get enough. šŸŖØšŸŖØšŸŖØšŸŖØšŸŖØ

Black Focusā€”Yussef Kamaal

Smooth, funky jazz with lots of complexity hiding under the hood. From what I read, it kicked off a jazz explosion in Brittan after it was released in 2010, and the group never put out another record. Sleek grooves, deep strange. It’s like if a velvet chicken made you wiggle.

Day/Nightā€”Parcels

If you listen to anything from this list, listen to this. What if disco, but now, and Australian in Germany? That is the question that the band Parcels answers, and boy, is the music way better than it has any right to be. The drive of electronica, the beat of disco, the heart of forever, the face of Prince Valiant, the soul of a dance party, the secret pathos of a tear streaked cigarette. My roommate Hean introduced me and my other roommate Ivy to them while we played a few rounds of Magic: The Gathering. Besides the music, the highlight was the silly words the game makes you say, like, “I crew the Dreadmobile with the Cranial Ram.” We laughed a lot. Then went back to grooving, and exclaiming with surprise that the tunes remained great, song after song after song. Dig in.

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TV

Girls5eva

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From almost everyone behind 30 Rock and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, the strange-until-you-watch-titled Girls5eva is really funny. It’s got a heart on it, and a plot following a flash-in-the-pan girl group getting back together and taking another crack at it two decades later. The characters are full and creative, but the show never strays far from it’s mission of delivering high quality jokes. Solid, and works even better the more you know about music history. Highly recommend.

Hacks

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This was recommended to me a few times by a few people, and I finally got around to watching it. Only a few episodes in, but it’s solid. Hannah Einbinder and especially Jean Smart give great performances, and it’s sharply written. I found myself caring even though both lead characters are pretty unlikable in opposite ways. What does it say about me that I ended up rooting more for Smart’s rich corporate-comic workaholic over Einbinder’s self-involved, self-defeating underdog who’s closer to my age?

Conan O’Brien Must Go

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Look, this may come as a shock, but Conan O’Brien is funny. He’s very funny. The found comedy he makes being an idiot abroad is very, very funny. Do yourself a favor, get up off your unfunny couch, then sit back down on it and watch this funny thing. Werner Herzog does the intro narration. What are you doing just watch.

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Video Games

Super Mario Land

Super-mario-land-gameboy-boxart.png

This was the other big launch title for the Gameboy, aside from Tetris, which naturally took the spotlight. This is such a fun little Mario game, though. Made by a different team than was making the NES games at the time, and built to withstand the severe limitations of the Gameboy’s hardware, it has a distinct feel to it from pretty much any other Mario game. I’ve been told that its short and super easy, but I haven’t beat it. One day.

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

Castlevania_SOTN_PAL.jpg

I played this around 2010 on a hand-me-down PlayStation One, and I don’t think I ever beat it. I’ve been meaning to replay it ever since. I’m doing so now on my little Miyoo Mini, which came pre-loaded with a shit-ton of ROMs, including Symphony of the Night. However, the ROM is the Japanese version, which is normally not a problem, and I like the voice acting better, but does mean extra work anytime I need to access the menu system. Who cares, though. I’m Dracula’s son, running around his castle stabbing cursed Medusa heads, leveling up and trying to kill my dad.

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Movies

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter

Friday_the_13th_The_Final_Chapter_poster.jpg

Finally, back to everyone’s favorite movie marathon, Friday the 13th.

A fan favorite, this one is edging in on being a real movie. Tom Savini is back, so the gore effects take a jump in quality, and it stares Crispin Glover and a little Corey Feldman. It has all the iconography in place, and is pretty much what you think of when you think of Jason Voorhees slicing people up.

Even if you don’t like horror movies or slashers or any of this shit, check out the legendary (violence and mostly dialog free) Dance by Crispin Glover.

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning

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Everyone hated this one, because it:

  1. came out a year after the “final chapter”
  2. doesn’t really have Jason in it
  3. is weird

However, that’s exactly the reasons why my roommates and I liked it. The tone takes a sharp turn, flying out bug-eyed gonzo while staying within the slasher mold. It continues the story of a non-villain character for the first time in series history, and its a whodunit. Sort of. It’s not really a real movie.

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

Friday_the_13th_Part_VI_-_Jason_Lives_(1986)_theatrical_poster.jpg

Okay, this is a real movie. Or, if it isn’t, it’s very close. Part six takes a comedic, self-aware slant in addition to the horror, and strikes the right balance. It’s campy and silly and gruesome and knows it all. If you think these movies are silly, or if you take them seriously, this movie agrees with you. A lot of fun.

Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood

Friday_the_13th_Part_VII_-_The_New_Blood_(1988)_theatrical_poster.jpg

Okay, this one introduces a psychic protagonist, a la Carrie, who eventually takes on Jason directly. What? Yes. TVs flying across the room and shit. Jason is an ominous presence, but the real villain is the manipulative psychologist that is trying to control our psychic heroine’s life. His murder feels huge.

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

Friday_the_13th_Part_VIII_-_Jason_Takes_Manhattan_(1989)_theatrical_poster.jpg

No one likes this one because Jason spends all of twenty five minutes in Manhattan, and the rest on a small cruise ship, for budgetary reasons. Not the strongest, but has some fun moments, including a young punk rock woman getting stabbed with her own guitar, the gross creepy uncle getting drowned in a barrel of New York sewage, and a man boxing Jason and getting his head punched off.

Monkey Man

Monkey_Man_film.jpg

I saw this alone in the theater on a whim after a long day of driving back from an improv festival. I was so tired, but I’m glad I saw it. Dark, brooding revenge flick with an obvious debt to John Wick while still being its own thing. It was shot on a nothing budget, and it doesn’t show. Big, beautifully brutal set-piece action scenes. The underpinnings of social and class critique in India are present and relevant everywhere. The temple of trans monks that serves as our heroes training montage was a nice touch.

Mad Max: Fury Road

Mad_Max_Fury_Road.jpg

I re-watched this with my friend in anticipation of seeing Furiosa, and it holds up. It’s nothing like seeing it on the big screen, and I was nervous that my girlfriend wouldn’t like it after an exclamation of, “what the hell are we watching?” following one of the more violent images, but she ended up enjoying it, and even if she didn’t that’s okay, it’s a movie, you know? It’s a good one, IMO, though.

Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday

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Another one fans don’t like. It really changes the lore, which fans really care about, you know? Jason is a demon from hell who jumps between bodies, and has been the whole time, despite this being the first time there’s been any evidence of this. We never see hell, but the title is true on a technicality. Feels dumb. The movie doesn’t know what it wants to be or do, and flops around a lot, but there’s this mercenary guy hunting Jason who, despite switching motivations a couple times, does wear a cowboy hat.

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

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This is the darkest Mad Max movie by a good bit. It’s also too long, and has a chunk of dialog scenes that can drag a bit. I think George Miller is strongest with visual storytelling with this series, and while interesting, some of the talking scenes felt flat to me. All that being said, I saw it with a group of friends and had a great time. There’s incredible action scenes, rivaling the best in the series, and the characters are indelible, popping off the screen. Take a peek, I’d love to discuss.

Jason X

The first post Scream Friday the 13th, and the first not to have a title without any mention of the day of the week. This movie did not do well with fans or general audiences. It’s Jason in space. It’s silly. It’s alien meets Jason meets jokes. I can imagine at the time, people were tired of the franchise, and were looking for something more “serious”. But now? Oh dear, this is fun. Get your camp goofy space killer on! The tone is so self aware, taking the most obvious, dumb jokes, and it worked. One of the best kills in the franchise, and someone refers to how many died in “the Microsoft wars”. It’s good.

Freddy vs. Jason

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This movie was in development hell for years, and they finally made it, and it’s pretty good. Not nearly as good as it should have been given the time in the tank, but I had fun watching it. It’s mostly a Freddy Kruger movie, from The Nightmare on Elm Street franchise, with Jason coming in as a blunt force object. The concept is probably as good as could be done to mash these two things together. The director, Ronny Yu, brings a fresh Hong Kong style to it. It’s never boring. I don’t know how much you’d get out of it if you didn’t have any familiarity with either Friday the 13th or The Nightmare on Elm Street series, though.

And we're done with Jason movies!

Or are weā€¦?

Stand Up Solutions

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Was recommended this arch satire of stand up specials while also being a stand up special by my friend Ryan. It’s really funny. It uses our fears around technology and drive for self promotion as conceptual engines that fuel the jokes. It works. From a Seth Myers writer slash Aidy Bryant’s husband.

Dan Licata: For The Boys

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I never heard of Dan before hearing him on The Best Show. The special is him doing stand up in front of an audience of 13 year old boys that attend Dan’s old high school. The comedy comes from Dan leaning into the difference in generation and philosophy, painting himself as a proud burn out, and the kids as awkwardly looking at him askance. It’s funny.

Friday the 13th (2009 remake)

Jason’s back! But from the beginning, all over again. The remake serves as kind of a greatest hits of the first four Friday movies, ups the budget, and in the process, becomes a real movie. It manages to keep the tone of the originals, while becoming a real boy. Its maybe a little preoccupied with trivial realisms like how Jason moves around so quickly and nonsense like that, but overall this might be the one to see if you’d like a good place to start, and see if its your speed.

Dicks: The Musical

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I saw this again with my girlfriend as a birthday present to myself. She hated the sewer boys. I make no apologies.

Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History of Friday the 13th

What do you want to watch after seeing all 12 Friday the 13th movies? A six hour documentary about the making of all those movies, that’s what! Frequently more interesting than the movies themselves, this is a loving, detailed romp. They get interviews with almost everyone involved, and some of the stories behind the scenes are absolutely wild. The series was started as a knowing rip off of Halloween, with no script, no one attached, but they had a title and an ad campaign! It’s really good. I think it would be fun to watch even if you never saw a second of the Friday movies. Can recommend.

That’s it for my Friday the 13th movie marathon, at least until they work out the rights and make a new one.

But wait, there’s a television series based on the property? And it was successful? And there’s 120 hours of it? Oh dear.

When Evil Lurks

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I was meaning to see this for a while. Interesting, fresh take on the demonic possession trope. And wow, what a brutal movie. It does not hold back, and that really lets it take you on an emotional ride. Don’t let the subtitles be the thing that scares you off.

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2024-07-07


Curried salmon for dunch.

A bowel of white rice with a half cut of curried salmon on top. Thereā€™s some pickled red onions scattered around, along with a ribbed snake of mayo.

2024-07-07